If Darth Vader wrote a Coast Guard OER

What if Darth Vader was in the Coast Guard as an officer? You know, he would have to do an officer evaluation report, better known simply as an OER just like the rest of us (though I’m sure he could convince most to think otherwise).

I fully admit the OER is not a fun thing to write (I’m a CG officer myself). However, just like any other job, it’s something that has to be done. It’s to, you know, show progression with a 1 to 7 scale and some blocks to tell why you matter (I’m God because…).

So what if the baddest of the baddies in the Star Wars universe had to write an OER? Well, someone out there took a guess… here’s a portion of the text:

Skillfully planned massive effort for successful T&E of only known Death Star in the galaxy, selected planet, arranged logistics for viewing by multiple parties of interest & personally briefed Galactic Empire Emperor (GEE) on results; received anticipated response from Rebel Alliance, device to be further developed & used to crush the Rebel Alliance & allow the Galactic Empire to rule the Galaxy.

To read the whole thing check out the PDF here. It’ll be worth your time, trust me.

Do note, first, that this is on legacy OER form; and second, I did not write this (though I’d love to take the credit). I posted it once several years ago, but it was lost in the shuffle of hosting platforms. And no, I don’t recall who I got it from originally. Nonetheless, it’s awesome.

Be First to Comment

Leave a Reply